Yeah, here I am on lunch break, chattin with coworkers and checking out my myspace page. Huh.
I'm not very inspired right now (see: just sat for two and a half minutes staring out window... nothing written!), actually, things are kind of suspended between me being able to worry about things (I don't know if I have a reason to worry, haven't justified it yet) and actually being able to do something about the things I'm worried about. Now that I think about it, I think I'm just being dumb. So, should I let myself be stressed out (quick answer, NO!) or should I just drop everything and stop caring? I don't think I like that either. Just knowing that things are ultimately out of my hands (but I can quit making these stupid mistakes, right?) makes me feel only a little better. I scew something up and then scramble as fast as I can (fumbling included) to try to cover it until I can think of a way to fix it. Am I so concerned with putting out an image of "I've got it all together" that I just keep banging my head against the wall, getting nowhere? Hey, I have a nice, new vehicle. Hey, I don't live with my parents anymore. Hey, I have a great job. Hey, I'm too good to concern myself with thinking about guys. Hey, I'm good enough! Will someone believe me!?
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